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    For You and Me
eople often ask me why my life has been so full of drama, and why I am elusive, intense and sometimes hard to understand. It occurred to me that alot of people don't understand the way my life has been, and this could be confusing to potential new friends as they start to come into my life. I have decided to write a few lines about it here to free my soul, to move forward, and help others try to understand.

It is true that my life has had it's fair amount of pain and suffering. All of us have our crosses to bear. It's possible I've carried a few more crosses than most.

Being raised a Latin upbringing, with a Mexican mother and much family in Mexico City, it is not customary in Latin families to not be outspoken. Feelings are shared openly, especially in families. I am outspoken and may have to do with my upbringing. This can be intimidating to more puritanical English speaking people that I have come in contact with. Sometimes what I might say to you that I am feeling would shock a good majority. It's just who and how I am, and not intended to make anyone uncomfortable.

That aside, and without going into alot of detail, I will summarize the hard times of my life dramas, as brief as possible for purposes of this web page, until the novel comes out.

1. My family divorced while I was a very young age, and I was very much a daddies girl. We moved out of state, away from my father and his family. It was hard, but I adapted and got through it, and it made me stronger.

2. My early teen years I was statutorily raped.

3. In my early adulthood I lost partial vision in my right eye, and I've endured several nerve wracking eye surgeries in both eyes, which being partially blinded and watching the recovery made me a very nervous person during the early 90's. Some re-surgeries later watching the effects of laser as well made me also a nervous wreck.

4. In my mid 20's, I lost a child to an ectopic pregnancy. I did not know that I had been bleeding internally for days. If I had waited much longer, I would not be here writing this to you today. What is more ironic is that history repeats, as my Grandmother died of this very same thing, due to lack of proper technology in her day.

5. My husband was an alcoholic and has recently left me. Actually, this is a positive thing as I am feeling free of the abuse that goes with this disease and that I have tolerated for years. I never had a child because I did not want to bring it into an alcoholic family, and the recovery from the previous failed pregnancy was a long one. I also wanted a husband to be financially able to support myself and the child, so that I would not have to leave my child in day care to be a working parent. This was a big factor in my decision.

Did I make you cry or sigh? Well, the story of Saahira is a life to cry about. A true drama, I am considering writing the story of my life for the world in a novel. I hope you will look forward to sharing all of the details one day in printed format, but please realize I do not expect or want your pity. I expect you to view me as a trophy of life... a survivor and a fighter, and congratulate me and give me your smile, as a reason for me to smile back at you.

The good news now is that Lisa/Saahira is ready to live, laugh and dance again. I am leaving my pain days behind and looking to laughter, happiness and joy, with or without any man in my life! I am really trying hard to relax and not be such a drama queen. It is my time to live now. I have to take the time to practice smiling more. I am truly enjoying being alone, thinking my thoughts and planning how to arrange my life better.

To all the friends I have made all over the world on ICQ and everywhere, you are currently my reason to smile right now. I thank you and I dedicate this page to you. Please, please, please do not ever leave me. Just be there for me, and just tell me something funny to help me practice smiling! In fact, tell me alot of funny things, please, the more the better.

With much love, - L. Back to Saahira's Home Page
Click here to see a customized photo of this girl in 1969